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About The Hague

Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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But then, I bump into my ex. Ugh. Talk about a mood killer. She’s with some dude, and they look all lovey-dovey. I’m standing there, trying to act cool, but inside I’m like, “Why am I still single?” Panningen’s small, so you can’t escape these awkward moments. It’s like a soap opera, but with more bicycles and less drama.

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